Do you ever catch yourself living for the next thing? The ‘I can’t wait for’ cycle is a real thing and I drew this comic to distill it down into the things I so often ‘can’t wait for’.
I don’t think there is anything wrong with being stoked about the next vacation, holiday season, work goal, personal financial goal, etc. But it can turn into a cycle of discontent quite easily… I often catch myself in these cycles now that I think to look for them, but holy fuck, they happen a LOT more often and more easily than I would like. What I’ve caught myself doing over and over again, is feeling stressed or dissatisfied with my life because I’m thinking (fretting) about the future, while taking part in a pretty great activity. So, I thought it would be fun to use this blog to give you a couple of examples. It’s hella humbling to look at it on the page, with a splash of objectivity, to see how privileged my life really is.
Story 1: I can’t wait for my next trip, while on a trip.
Picture this, I’m sitting next to a pool on a sunny day in the beautiful Okanagan valley. I spent the morning paddle boarding with an adorable, yet reluctant, dog in a life jacket and my handsome, fit, husband gliding alongside me. I’m sitting by the pool pondering what our next trip will be…should we go snowboarding in Japan? Should we keep it local and road trip to the coast? Should we opt to save some money and enjoy our home town in the middle of the stunning Canadian Rockies? I start to get kind of agitated, like ‘there are too many options’, I spend the next hour ruminating on if/when/what I should do next and ironically it starts to stress me out. This is not the point of relaxing by the pool…
Story 2: Chairlifts are for thinking?
It’s a sunny ski day, I’m sitting on the chairlift looking out at a view many, many people travel across the world to see. Instead of enjoying the view or chatting about fun things with my ski companions, I’m thinking about Christmas holidays. I can’t wait to be off work for a week, I can’t wait to see my family, I can’t wait to give that awesome gift to the husband…but what am I going to get for other people? How are we going to host so many for dinner? Should I order the turkey now? What about that dessert that takes two days to make? ….. This is a scenario I often see happen in my annoying brain, I get excited about the next thing and before I know it, it morphs into all kinds of worries. Meanwhile, the view across the valley is there, being totally ignored.
These are just two of the buzzillions of times where I look back and realize I’m missing out. I know this is cliche, the whole “life passes by while you are busy thinking about it”, but it’s very true. I am happy to report, that even though I still often think about the next thing “I can’t wait for” I am far faster at noticing when I get caught in this trap. I know you probably don’t want to hear this, but being able to notice when my annoying brain is up to these hijinks, and let go and enjoy what I’m doing in the moment, is largely due to a consistent meditation practice.
I don’t like to talk about meditation all that much, I’m not ashamed of it, but it’s something that people can get a bit judgy and dismissive about. If you want to give it a shot, do a bit of research, try an app and see if it’s for you. I’m not here to convince you to try it. So to keep it brief, all I’m going to say is; it’s made me a more aware, less reactive, calmer human. It’s hard as fuck to start, as it seems like it should be this perfect peaceful experience, in a silent room sitting cross legged on a fancy cushion and an be able ’empty’ your mind. Trust me it’s not. My mind does crazy shit all the time while I’m meditating, but that’s the point. It’s about noticing, not changing.
As for the next thing that “I can’t wait for” there are lots; the next vacation, my upcoming brunch, a cool work trip, seeing my parents… but right now I also want to point out that I am really happy sitting in my nice big chair in a cozy sweater doing something creative.
The Graphical Bear 