** The last email did not have the blog post with the comic, sorry about that! I was working with my web designer to get the images larger and we posted it without the blog. I’ve since added the blog and you can read it here.**
This comic isn’t my favourite in terms of the layout and drawing. Despite this, it did get me through an extra shitty day once. I was in one of my super fun ‘low moods’ at work. The kind that made me feel useless, hopeless, sad, self-critical, etc…I’ve since learned that these moods are likely associated with some type of depression. I’ll get into that later…
Anyway, I was having a rough, rough day and I ended up sending my coach a voice note on What’s App, saying how I was feeling and described my valiant, but ultimately futile effort not to cry in my office for no logical reason. He was kind enough to reply and ask if there is any silver lining at all I can see, or if I can think of something, anything, big or small, that I’m currently grateful for? This helped a bit, I realized, often my best artwork comes out of struggle, I’m sure you may have noticed there is a theme to my comics…In that moment, I came up with a funny idea about my bear character like a French ‘tourtured artist’. The kind that smokes and complains and wears a beret. It made me laugh, through my gross ugly cry face, I did a choking cry laugh that kind of pulled me up a little. Right then and there I drew a sketch of the bear, wearing a beret and the best idea for a pun I’ve ever had popped into my head.
A bear, in a beret….a ‘bearet’. It’s so stupid it’s hilarious.
(That day I also ordered a beret online and still wear it from time to time when I’m feeling like I need to not take myself too seriously. I might go upstairs and get it when I’m done writing this blog)
Sometimes finding the small, silly, stupid things are enough to redirect my mind, sometimes they’re not. But that day, it helped enough I was able to get a few more things done at work and not feel like a total waste of space – which is a huge win given where I was. This leads me into my next topic, which is my recent trip down the ever so fun ‘pit of despair’, yet again…
I’m doing everything I can to help myself feel better; meditation, coaching, sobriety, exercise, eating (pretty) well, sleep hygiene, etc. Sometimes we need more help. After a number of years experiencing different levels (mild to extreme) of sadness on a pretty regular basis, I’ve decided to give anti-depressants a try. I have been VERY hesitant to do this, it made me feel like I was failing at getting a handle on myself, like I’m not good enough at all the other things. A dear friend of mine put it really well, and I quote:
“That’s bullshit” (thanks Sandy)
The more I learn about anti-depressants and anxiety medication, the more I realize how common it is, and how it can really help people. I am writing this blog as I think it’s important to remove the stigma of these drugs. If used in the right way, by working with your doctor, in conjunction with therapy/counseling, and of course all the other stuff, they can help people immensely. I’m new to it, there are many many types of these medications out there, and it may take some time to find what works for me. But I’m willing to give it a try and talk about it here. Needing and accepting help doesn’t make us weak, it is courageous. Putting it out there for others to see is ballsy as fuck, so go me! I hope any one who reads this and is struggling with depression, or any other metal health issue, feels a bit more bad ass when they ask for help.
And hey, if it takes some time to help my low moods, I can always draw a bear in a beret to make me giggle.
The Graphical Bear 